A mother recently caused a stir on the internet when she admitted to letting her five-year-old daughter bleach her hair. Demi Lucy May Engemann, who calls herself the “CEO of cool mom” in her bio, chronicled her and her daughter Maude’s journey to the salon to her TikTok followers in a video that has gone viral. She explained that she had allowed the young girl to miss school so they could have a “ladies’ day” together.
The video producer from Utah revealed how she gave in to Maude’s request to “bleach her hair so she could put pink in it” by allowing her to receive highlights. After that, the 28-year-old mother filmed the mother-daughter hair visit to demonstrate how the girl “was so delighted the minute she noticed how blonde [her hair] was.”
More than 14.4 million people have already watched the footage, and comments on the platform instantly started to flow. While some regarded it as a priceless moment, others were quick to mom-shame the woman. Passionate TikTokers lost no time in sharing their opinions, ranging from admiration to criticism. To view the complete video and the contentious discussion that followed, scroll down. After that, make sure to pick where you stand on the issue and contribute to the conversation in the comments.
The reaction from the platform has been varied, despite the fact that the video shows Maude having a great time when she got to help mix dye, eat some snacks, and see the stylist enhance her dark blonde hair. The video prompted a contentious discussion online. While some saw it as a sweet and enjoyable experience, others jumped into the comments area to accuse Demi of harming her daughter’s hair and imposing her own ideals of beauty on the young girl.
It is nothing new for parents to experience internet criticism for their choices. Parenthood is, after all, a lifetime experience that is both amazing and difficult. It’s a rigorous work that is not for the weak of the heart because it involves many ups and downs, difficulties, and a never-ending flood of advice and ideas from all sides.
Children and cosmetic procedures are sensitive subjects that generate a lot of internet discussion. Some professionals advise parents to wait till their children are older before bleaching their hair. Sejal Shah, MD, a dermatological surgeon in New York, noted in an interview with Good Housekeeping that children’s hair undergoes numerous changes from birth until adolescence, making it more sensitive and making it more probable that responses would occur.
Dr. Shah advised waiting to color or bleach a child’s hair until after puberty and, ideally, until they were in their late teens or at least 16 years old.
Additionally, the TikToker posted some before-and-after clips of Maude showcasing her freshly colored strands.
Woman Furious Over Internet Reaction To “Special And Fun Bonding Moment With Daughter” After Bleaching Five-Year-Hair. Old’s
Some individuals on the forum have praised the mother, while others have criticized her action.
Later, in a follow-up video, Demi addressed the situation.
Demi later stated that Maude was the only one who had the concept. The woman claimed that the “mom shamers and trolls” who had condemned her for having her daughter’s hair bleached had left her feeling “exhausted.”
You are free to disagree, she said. But “I’m going to put an end to that the minute name calling starts or mom shaming starts based on one decision you disagree with.”
Dr. Shah advised waiting to color or bleach a child’s hair until after puberty and, ideally, until they were in their late teens or at least 16 years old.
@demilucymay_ Here’s your sign to say “yes” more 🥹 pure joy! ##HausLabsFoundation##momsoftiktok##mommydaughter##hairtok##utah##thatgirl##thatgirlaesthetic##girly##hair##momtok ♬ Love You So – The King Khan & BBQ Show
Sadly, mom-shaming is a very widespread phenomenon. Many mothers experience pressure from other adults, which can range from scathing remarks in online parenting forums to random strangers who act like they know your child better than you. In fact, according to a survey by the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan, six out of ten American moms believe they have received criticism for their parenting abilities.
The results of a survey of 475 mothers who were part of a nationally representative sample and had children ranging in age from newborn to five years old revealed that many mothers reported experiencing “shaming” for their parenting decisions from a variety of people in their lives, particularly from members of their own families. Discipline (70%), diet and nutrition (52%), sleep (46%), breast-versus-bottle-feeding (39%), safety (20%), and child care (16%) are the most often criticized topics.
@demilucymay_ Replying to @christinamariedaniels #greenscreen ♬ original sound – DemiLucyMay
There isn’t a parenting style that fits everyone, yet some people think their approach is superior to everyone else’s. This can occasionally result in unsolicited opinions, criticisms, and mom-shaming, which can undermine a woman’s confidence and cause her to feel insecure.
We contacted Gail Post, Ph.D., a certified psychologist, parenting consultant, and author of The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-Discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children, to get more information from an authority. She told this publication, “Using shame to express an idea is hurtful—and also unproductive.
“Shaming is severe and punitive and aims to undermine a person’s sense of morality and judgment. If readers had strong feelings regarding this mother’s choice to let her daughter color her hair, they could have expressed their thoughts in a way that was more encouraging and constructive.
When asked how to effectively deal with those who use mom-shaming, Post said that sometimes the best course of action is to ignore the comments. Other times, it’s fair to focus on the process, such as by pointing out that the comments were painful and unhelpful, even though doing so is unlikely to persuade the shamers to change their minds.
The post stated, “Replying only to the message’s content would probably lead to more discussion. “Using relaxing techniques and asking friends for support can assist with the hurt and annoyance.”
The licensed psychologist continued, “The young child seemed to be having fun in the movie and was obviously interested in imitating her mother’s attention on beauty.” Yes, it prioritizes beauty concerns over other qualities one would like to see a young girl develop (such as self-assurance in her intelligence and kindness toward others); however, given the current state of the world and the numerous problematic decisions some parents make when raising their children, attacking this mother’s choices seems like an unnecessary and hurtful diversion, Post said in his conclusion.